Now that Bear and Dan are off to work and school, and I've been to yoga, I have my chance to write a little. My temptation is to scroll through Facebook, read my messages and email, look up this or that, and make phone calls for appointments. That is my temptation, just as eating a big chocolate brownie or bowl of ice cream is my temptation. Instead I've made myself a smoothie (banana, almond milk, cinnamon, flax seed, macadamia nuts, … ), and I will write before I clutter my head with all the junk.
This is my theme right now. My mantra, perhaps. Clear the clutter. Not just the physical clutter (although that's vital, too), but also the mental and emotional clutter. And, I need to stay present; focus on the here and now. I need to make room for the things that are to come. And, whatever the future holds, it depends on my becoming a more focused person now.
This is much different from what I would have written earlier this morning. Or, even on my way home from yoga. I am so tempted to always think about what I want to do next. “What am I going to do with my life?” I want to be a teacher, a speech pathologist, a librarian, a journalist, a farmer, a food writer, … But, how will I ever reach any goal I set, if I'm completely unable to focus on the present?
I started going to yoga 10 weeks ago with the intention of keeping my physical self strong. I wanted to be active, not sedentary during pregnancy. And, yes, I am accomplishing that goal, but I'm also finding a lot more. Learning to be in the present moment and live with intention is perhaps the greater piece. I have a long way to go, just as I have a long way to go to achieve forearm stand, but it's not all or nothing. There is benefit in just practicing.